From Panic to Power: Helping Teens Handle Exam Stress and How Parents Can Support them

Exams are coming. For many teens, that means sleepless nights, swirling thoughts, and a rising sense of pressure. And for parents? It often means walking the tightrope between encouraging and overwhelming, supportive and smothering.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

The good news? There are powerful, practical ways both parents and teens can reduce exam stress and even turn this intense season into an opportunity for growth, confidence, and connection.

Why Exams Feel So Stressful for Teens

Teens are under more pressure than ever—from school performance to social expectations to future planning. During exams, stress levels can soar due to:

  • Fear of failure or disappointing others

  • Perfectionism and unrealistic self-standards

  • Comparing themselves to peers

  • Difficulty managing time, focus, and sleep

  • Physiological stress response: racing heart, tense muscles, brain fog

The adolescent brain is still developing emotional regulation and executive functioning. That means they’re feeling a lotand often struggling to filter or organise it.

What Parents Can Do: Calm the System, Not Just the Situation

Your presence, words, and even your body language can either soothe or amplify your teen’s nervous system. Here’s how to support in a grounded, empowering way:

1. Co-Regulate First

Before problem-solving, help your teen calm their body. A calm parent helps create a calm teen.

✔ Try: Sitting beside them, speaking in a slower tone, doing a breathing exercise together (e.g. inhale 4, exhale 6).

2. Don’t Fix – Be a Mirror

Teens often just want to be heard. Reflect what they’re saying before jumping to solutions.

“It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed because there’s a lot riding on this.”

This builds trust and helps them feel understood.

3. Help Them Notice Their Wins

Instead of focusing on grades, praise effort, progress, and resilience.

“You showed up and kept going even when it was tough. That’s huge.”

4. Create a Calm-Boosting Environment

Keep routines steady, reduce unnecessary screen time, and invite rest and movement.

✔ Add calming cues like gentle music, diffused oils, or even a visual “toolbox” poster on the wall with breathing or grounding strategies.

What Teens Can Do: Your Calm Is Closer Than You Think

Teens have more power than they realise. Here are strategies they can use independently to regulate stress and build confidence:

1. Use Your Breath

Slow breathing (especially with longer exhales) helps tell your brain you’re safe.

Try “Box Breathing”: Inhale 4 – Hold 4 – Exhale 4 – Hold 4. Do 4 rounds before you study or sleep.

2. Ground Yourself with Your Senses

If you feel overwhelmed, use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique:

  • 5 things you can see

  • 4 things you can touch

  • 3 things you can hear

  • 2 things you can smell

  • 1 thing you can taste

This calms spiralling thoughts fast.

3. Move Your Body

Anxiety builds up energy—use it! Try jumping jacks, a brisk walk, yoga, or a kitchen dance-off. Even 5–10 minutes can reset your brain.

4. Journal Your Worries (Then Reframe Them)

Write it all out uncensored. Then challenge those thoughts. For example:

  • “I’m definitely going to fail” → “I’m nervous, but I’ve studied, and I’ve got tools to cope.”

5. Visualise Calm

Close your eyes and imagine your safe place—somewhere peaceful, where you feel relaxed and confident. Use all your senses.

Then, picture walking into your exam with calm, steady energy. Your brain believes what you rehearse.

Together Is Powerful

Whether you’re a parent or a teen, exam stress is a shared journey—and with the right tools, it doesn’t have to become a crisis.

✅ Parents: Be present, calm, and supportive without trying to control.
✅ Teens: Know that you are not your thoughts. You can calm your system. You are stronger than this moment.

Let’s turn this exam season into a time not just of testing, but of growth, courage, and calm.

Jacqui Gray